The 50 Wing Challenge

Well, it is Monday morning after the Super Bowl and more importantly the morning after the 50 Wing Challenge. Just to end all the suspense, yes, I did manage to finish all 50 wings. It was quite the ordeal fraught with many challenges, roadblocks, and excitement. Why did I decide to do this? Well, in the words of the late great Evel Knievel when asked why he wanted to jump the Snake River canyon when he thought there was a 50/50 chance of surviving “Do you know who the heck I am?”. I know you are all curious as to how it went down so keep reading as I break it down for all of you.

1:20 – The deep fryer is on and heating up and the sauce is in the pot simmering away. Takes about 10-12 minutes at 375 to get them fried properly. This deep fryer will take about 15 wings at a time. I could probably do more but overloading a fryer is bad. Don’t want to lower the oil temp too much. The sauce is about 2 parts Frank’s Red Hot and 1 part margerine. This is one of the few instances where margerine outperforms butter.

1:40 – Oil is heated and the first wings are in!!!

2:00 – Time to taste the first wing to make sure everything is good to go and it is awesome. Can’t wait for the rest of the wings to cook and the game to start!!!

2:40 – The first 50 wings are almost done. Just need to cook up the rest for some friends. BTW, a 10lb bag contains about 96 wings. Yeah, I started with plain frozen wings from Costco. I usually use fresh wings but I didn’t feel like cutting up this many wings.

3:10 – About 10 minutes until I start. Got the 60″ HDTV ready to go. FYI, this is the Sony KDS-60A2000 60-Inch Grand WEGA™ SXRD™ Rear Projection HDTV. Had it for about 3 years now and love it. Glad I didn’t go with a smaller one. I thought about getting the 50″ but I have never regretted going with the 60″ even thought it is in a pretty small room.

3:15 – 50 wings cooked and ready to go!!! Yes, there are 50. I counted 3 different times to make sure.

Here is my setup. Forget a TV tray. I brought the dining room table in for this one. Got my wings, some chunky bleu cheese dressing, a Pepsi, a glass of water, a bowl for the bones, napkins, and a wet towel for when the napkins just won’t cut it.

3:20 – Time to get started. The first wing is down and it is delicious

3:30 – 15 wings down and we haven’t even kicked off yet. This should be a breeze. And yeah, I ate 5 during the national anthem.

3:35 – Hines Ward catches one for the first first down of the game. The Cardinals are gonna need to get a stop here and not let Pittsburgh march down the field.

3:40 – Challenge by the AZ Cardinals. NO TD!!! Great challenge by Wisenhunt. Pittsburgh wusses out and kicks a FG instead of going for a 1 foot TD. Lame conservative playcalling by Tomlin. I thought for sure he would go for it. And the Pepsi commercial with Dylan and Doritoes with the obligatory nut shot were pretty sweet. 30 wings down, 20 to go. These things are flying down my throat. Am I gonna finish before halftime? Should I have gone for more than 50?

4:03 – The wings are getting cold. Time to reheat the last few. 15 more to go. My pace has slowed a bit here. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone out so fast. Each wing is getting tougher to get down and I am feeling pretty full.

4:38 – 10 more to go. I am really slowing down and for the first time I am doubting my ability. But come on, I have to be able to get 10 more down in the second half. Here are the remnants of the first 40:

4:57 – Halftime and Harrison just made the longest play in Super Bowl history. Stupid Pittsburgh. Why did Warner make that stupid throw?!?! I need another Pepsi. Pittsburgh did OK in the first half and the Cardinals almost made a game of it going into halftime. Neither team has played great yet. And when are the Cards gonna get the ball to Fitzgerald?

5:06 – Time for Bruce. Let’s see if he can deliver in 12 minutes. I am not a huge Springsteen fan but he does have some songs I like. 9 more wings to go.

5:10 – Sweet crotch cam. Bruce needs to work on his knee slide.

5:26 – 8 more to go. Wow, this is getting tough. With how easy the first 30 wings went down I thought this would be easy but it isn’t. The heat of the wings isn’t bothering me, just the total volume of the wings and the grease factor.

5:42 – 7 more to go. It has been an hour and I have only been able to get 3 down. I figure I got about another hour or so to go so I need to get more than 1 down every 10 minutes.

6:12 – Only 5 wings left. The end is in sight but I am starting to feel like Mr. Creasote from Monty Python. 13 minutes left in the game and the Cardinals need to make something happen soon if they want a chance.

6:24 – 4 more to go. I can feel my gut pushing out. Have you seen the video of the snake and the hippo? Kinda glad I don’t have some dudes poking me with sticks or the wings would be coming back up.

6:29 – 2 more wings left. I can do this!!! I can do this!!! Now the Cardinals just need that mindset.

6:39 – Only 1 wing left in the pan. So close yet so far away.

6:46 – Safety!!! Holding penalty in the endzone on the Steelers!. Cards get the ball back on the 36. Just need one more big play. Gonna hold off on the last wing for a couple minutes.

6:48 – TD to Fitzgerald! 64 yards! Only took 21 seconds but the Cardinals have the lead. But the Steelers still have time. Can the Arizona defense make one more big play to capture their first Super Bowl? Or are we looking at a miracle finish?

6:50 – More importantly than the end of the game: THE LAST WING IS DOWN!!! THE PAN IS EMPTY!!! The glorious last wing is on it’s way down

6:55 – What the heck??? Stupid Santonio Holmes. That was an awesome catch. Why couldn’t the Cardinals make just one freakin defensive play? Steelers need to get fitted for their 6th ring. SuperBowl Fan Gear – Get all your Pittsburgh Championship hats, shirts, jerseys, and other stuff!!!

So the game is over, the wing challenge is over. What a wonderful event (not necessarily the game)!!! The game overall was good in the second half but the first half was just mediocre. I don’t really think either team played that great all game but once again Pittsburgh did enough to win. Yeah, some of those calls against the Cardinals were pretty weak. But they were at least semi-legitimate calls. Most of them were the type of thing where you wouldn’t hear too many complaints if they weren’t called and I would have liked to see the refs keep most of those flags in their pockets but by the letter of the law they were the correct calls.

Commercial-wise I liked the Dylan Pepsi commercial, the first Doritoes commercial with the magic 8 ball and the guy taking one in the junk, and the E-Trade commercial with the baby breaking out into “Broken Wings” by Mister Mister. And the Cash4Gold commercial was suprisingly good. Godaddy? Terrible. Doesn’t Danica have any dignity?

Now it is time to start thinking about what I can do to top the 50 Wing Challenge next year. 3 feet of Italian sausage? 20 Ribs? 15 Tacos? I need some suggestions here. And no, I don’t want a wafer thin mint!!!